I have been seeing people for times becoming worst enemies from good friends but never got enough feelings to feel the pain of that broken relationship. This may be because of my nature about which some of my friends say that I am an emotionless person almost. But now I have pondered over the reasons of broken friendships and I have experienced some of them too.
But as we proceed, we have to categorize the classes in which friendships can fall. These may be,
· Emotional friends
· Professional friends
· Social friends and
· Just friends
The most which I like are the emotional friends. These are the real friends which one can have. These friends have a perfect mindset and understanding with you, the thoughts are compatible and the issues are the same and sharing of problems is on the higher end. Always seen as one and always treated as the same by others.
Professional friends are the people you know in good terms due to the same field. Accountants know many accountants; doctors are buddies with doctors and businessmen are friends with businessmen etc. Social friends are friends of the internet, entertainment clubs etc. The remaining are ‘just friends’ and include people whom you meet after a long time and remember them, your old school or college fellows to whom you never spoke at that time.
All these relations can be broken but the pain lies under the breaking of the emotional friendship. I, some days back, received a mobile message which goes like ‘Always take care of your friends because when friendship is broken, it doesn’t make noise.’ And this is true; we only can feel the broken relationships.
Reasons of friendship ending may be finding of some new friends and forming a new group and trying to depart the old group.
Change in financial position may be another reason. Not an important one, but still very applicable and this supports the saying of Hazrat Ali (R.A.) that (meaning not exact words) on getting wealthy, people are not changed but exposed.
Sense of deprivation is the most heinous and devastating reason which a friend may find to cut himself off from others. A person might think that is inferior to other friends in the group and may want to leave them.
Ignoring others may be a factor which initiates the feeling of being ignored and that may become a point of separation of friends. Respect can be earned when we give proper respect to others.
Harsh and violent joking may provoke some other person which may lead to the conclusion of the friendship in a negative manner. This should not be the case as we have to respect the feelings of the other. Moreover, we should see where the other person is feeling annoyed and should stop ourselves at the same point. This is the problem which most close friends always face. I am also much frightened by this as I still have not found any solution to this as if I say anyone to stop, they would say that we are joking and when some bad event occurs, we cannot reverse ourselves to the earlier positions. We should make in mind that friendship is diamond and brother-relation is gold. When there is extra heating on diamond or a crack in diamond, it is reduced to nothing. But gold becomes purer if the same thing happens to it. A point of disrespect when comes to heart cannot be forgotten, a thread when broken can be joined but with a knot only and same is true in case of friendship.
Friends should have respect among one another and this is the only reason to be friends for life. Remember that you do not have to retain emotional friends as you may want to retain professional friends. Retaining a friendship means that your hearts or minds are not compatible with each other but you have to keep up with the other person due to some reasons which are mostly personal gains. The professional friendship is mostly based on mutual benefits and interests, whereas the emotional friendship is based purely on the acceptability of each other by heart.
adeeb.hassan@hotmail.com
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